


Departure

by NewTimelineNewMe



Series: Whumptober2020 [8]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cutter is his own warning, Day Nine: For The Greater Good, Gen, I don’t like him, Whumptober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewTimelineNewMe/pseuds/NewTimelineNewMe
Summary: Sweat dripped down Eiffel’s nose at the stared at the comms board, anxiously awaiting Cutters response.
Series: Whumptober2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950760
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Departure

**Author's Note:**

> This is an au I had that takes place right after the first live show, wondering what would happen if Cutter’s response was different

Sweat dripped down Eiffel’s nose at the stared at the comms board, anxiously awaiting Cutters response. He could feel everyone staring at him, even Hera, whom Eiffel wasn’t sure had eyes. 

After what seemed like hours (but was most likely seconds) a reply came through. “You know what, Doug? You’re right.”

His shoulders slumped in relief, and even Minkowski shot him a rare smile. 

“You _are_ incompetent in all ways. The rest of that crew? Not so much. However, Doug-“ Eiffel’s head shot up in alarm. “You’re too much of a liability. Keeping you up there, surrounded by such...expensive equipment- why, I just hate to think what could happen! What could have happened, had you, say, destroyed the rest of Alexander’s research, for example.”

“Sir-“ Minkowski tried to say, but Cutter cut her off.

“Let me finish, Renèe. In fact, since you’re so... _eager_ to jump the gun, you can have the honor of terminating Doug yourself!”

White hot fear ran through Eiffel. “Sir?”

“You are too much of a risk, Doug. Don’t worry! You’ve spared the life of your crew. Of course, if my team gets there, and your communications officer is not dead, that will change.”

“Sir, I implore you to reconsider-“ Minkowski said, panicked.

“My folks will be there in a couple weeks or so to collect the body and drop off some supplies.” Cutter charged on. “You were saying something about toothpaste, Renèe?”

“Yes, sir.” She said. Her voice was thick.

“Alright then. A replacement officer, one at your level, as Doug put it, will be provided so that we can make sure we’re getting... _everything_ we can get from the signals.” A pause. “That should be everything, so. Toodles, Hephaestus crew, I’ll be checking in in 100 days!”

A small click.

“Hera?” Minkowski asked, the sound ringing through the ship.

“He’s gone.” She confirmed. 

“Well.” Eiffel said, drawing all the attention on him. “That...could have gone better.”

Minkowski’s eyes snapped to his. “I’m not gonna do it.”

“You kinda have to, Commander.” Eiffel said, much braver than he felt. “Toothpaste, huh?”

“...It was going to be a surprise for you.” She whispered. 

“I’ll do it.” Lovelace said. She looked away from them. “It’ll be easiest, for me.” 

“Like hell you will.” Minkowski snapped. “We are not killing Eiffel.”

“Finally joining team ‘What’s wrong with handcuffs, eh commander?” Eiffel joked, then immediately regretted. 

“We’re not killing Eiffel.” Hilbert agreed. 

“Nobody’s killing nobody, okay?” Minkowski said, putting her hands up. “We have time, we’ll figure this out.”

“I die, you guys live. End of story, right? Just have to...pull a Bing-Bong, right?” Eiffel reasoned.

“Eiffel, that’s a children’s movie.” Minkowski snapped.

“Very emotional, very touching. I cried.” Eiffel argued, and for a second nothing had changed.

Then the moment passed.

“Look, why don’t I just...kill myself?” Eiffel asked. “Finally be good for something, right?”

“Don’t-“ His words caught up with her. “You...don’t really think that, do you?”

“Think what?” Eiffel scrunched his face in confusion. “That I’m not good for very much? Not a stellar resolution, I’ll admit, but one I came to terms with a long while ago. I mean, Hera? What was the last remotely positive thing someone said to me?”

A whirr. “I... _believe_ Minkowski getting surprise toothpaste counts as nice to you.”

“Before that?” 

“A few weeks ago, when Commander Minkwoski said ‘Your work isn’t half-bad’.” 

Minkowski and Lovelace looked stricken. 

“Lighten up, guys, it’s not like I’m going to keel over from the lack of positive attention. Hey, speaking of. I see there are three ways we play this.” Eiffel’s eyes darted around the room, the eye contact making him feel weird. “One: we go out of this room and shoot me immediately. Two: I shoot myself in the middle of the night. Three: we do it executioner style and one of your shoots me when I last see it coming.”

“How can you be so cheery about this!?” Lovelace demanded.

“Look, it’s either that or sobbing.” Eiffel shrugged. “At least this way you guys don’t feel guilty, and I don’t have to see Minkowski’s...pity face. This is entirely for my benefit, believe me.”

He glanced down and away. “And as long as you guys are safe, it’s for the greater good.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
